Engagement: the Couple’s Perspective

Engagement: the Couple’s Perspective


An engagement is the beginning of a process. Your engagement is a beginning to the life that you can imagine sharing together. Engagement is a “time trial” where you watch and learn about each other and yourselves, and the uniqueness of your relationship. This is a time of hope and anticipation.

Some couples execute an engagement document called tenaim which outlines the conditions of the marriage and declares the couple’s intention to wed. This is followed by the breaking of a plate, usually by the mothers of the bride and groom. Symbolically it reflects that a broken engagement cannot be mended.


With good signs and good fortune, may this couple flourish and grow like a verdant garden and may the Holy One declare this will be an everlasting connection.


Pirke Avot 5:16

Any love that is dependent on one thing, when that thing ends, the love ends. But a love that is not dependent on one thing does not ever perish.

Song of Songs 8:6-7

Bind me as a seal upon your heart,
a sign upon your arm,
For love is as fierce as death,
its jealousy bitter as the grave.
Even its sparks are a raging fire,
a devouring flame.
Great seas cannot extinguish love,
No river can sweep it away


carry your heart with me (i carry it in)

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

e.e. cummings


Psalm 143:8

Let me learn of Your faithfulness by daybreak,
for in You I trust;
let me know the road I must take,
for on You I have set my hope.

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